SPC Mailbag - March 21st, 2012

Sometimes I get e-mails and messages from people who have nothing but questions to ask their friend SuperPhillip. Sometimes I answer them while other times I feed them to my pet monkey, Mr. Aces. Today I am going to do the former and read and answer some queries from the SPC community. Last time I offended some people, so this time we will go 2-for-2 for 2012.

You seem to cover Nintendo a lot and have a passion for Nintendo games. Would you consider yourself to be a fanboy?

I do not like the word "fanboy." I feel it is a grade school playground insult that perpetuates the stereotype that the industry is for children. Maybe it is after reading some the reactions to Eurogamer's 8 out of 10 for Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception and looking at various message boards and comment sections.

That said, I grew up on Nintendo and have a soft place in my heart for their games. I always note when they make a misstep, so I don't have a blind devotion (heck, I even wrote a top five list of reasons to hate Nintendo). In fact, I loathe the typical message board Nintendo fan. They are by far the most obnoxious group in gaming next to the chest-beating "hardcore" gamer.

The bane of the hardcore's existence.

To be totally truthful, I loathe the so-called "hardcore" gamer and everything that they stand for. They constantly turn up their nose at anything they deem "casual" (whatever that term means), and think that if a game isn't tailor-made for them, it sucks. The hardcore seem to hate Nintendo and everything they stand for, so I cannot help but root for Nintendo to continue to do well just to spite these miserable creatures. Thus, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Then these pitiable souls create excuses and move the goal posts. "Wii's sales don't count. It's last gen" and "Wii is a fad." Yeah, a normal console life is a fad. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kids.

Do you think Sony's PlayStation Vita will do well in the future?

Well, everyone knows I am a master prognosticator, so you asked the right person. The Vita is one sexy piece of hardware, but unlike some female IGN games enthusiast, I won't lick it like a pathetic little loser. Instead, I will bask in its glorious launch lineup. Unfortunately, Sony seems to be making the same mistakes they made on the PSP. They are not devoting their A teams to the system to make games for it. It's funny how the Game Boy Advance and Nintendo were keeping gaming in the "handheld ghetto", and it is Sony that keeps their own handheld hardware from being anything more than second fiddle to the 3DS. If they were serious about the Vita like Nintendo is with their own portable dynasty, they would send A teams to create games for the system. When Naughty Dog says they are not making or plan on making games for the system, you know something is rotten in the state of Denmark. This is just my opinion, I want the Vita to do well (it is anemic in sales in Japan where its third party support would come from), and I don't pretend to know the industry well unlike a certain analyst who seldom predicts anything correctly (*cough* Michael Pachter *cough*).

With a barren upcoming release list,
the Vita is in need of a true killer app.

You gave The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Game of the Year for 2011. How can you do this when the game has broken controls?

You didn't see this just now, but I did a Danny Thomas spit-take when I read your question. Exactly what is "broken" (as you say) about the controls of Skyward Sword? I could understand if they took getting used to and had a learning curve, but to say the controls are broken is folly. I've seen many "hardcore" gamers who never gave the Wii a chance, picked up the game, and guess what-- they never gave the controls a chance either. "I don't want to learn how to swing the Wii remote correctly, so every time I mess up, it must be game's fault." That is a common excuse that I gather from reading (painful reading, might I add) message board users.

"Motion Controls for Dummies" just sounds too mean.

Perhaps if Nintendo packaged a large pamphlet or guide entitled "The Complete Beginner's Guide to Skyward Sword's Motion Controls" with the game, we would see people actually learning the controls. Now, let's be fair. You occasionally need to recalibrate the Wii MotionPlus controller. For me, I had to do this maybe twice in the 35+ hours I played the game. I just think most so-called gamers (who I thought would be open to new gameplay experiences, but I was immensely wrong) never gave the controls a chance and called them broken. Not saying you are one of these, so don't send me a rage-filled reply. I won't bother reading an all CAPS hate-drenched comment (nor will I post it). Apologies for the snark.

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So let's see who I offended this time around. Hopefully not too many people, and maybe if you were offended, you would reflect on why I angered you. As for everyone else, the SPC Mailbag is closed, but I am always accepting new e-mails and comments. Send the former to superphillip32[at]yahoo[dot]com. As for comments, feel free to post them below with your thoughts on this edition's subjects. Did you have problems with Skyward Sword's controls? Do you feel like Sony is treating the Vita like a second-class platform? Let me know. We'll see you later, friends!